No time to post, but here's a photo of Johanna from yesterday. I think it's a nice one. And yes...she's still very much into her thumb. :)



Happy Monday!

We had a playdate at our house yesterday, and Johanna had a BIG, big time. Three girls total -- Jojo, Lena, and Clare -- and much frolicking was done.

The grocery cart was THE toy of the day. Ellen finally had to hide it in our shower because the girls kept scuffling over it.  We introduced Clare to the Nature's Choice breakfast bars that're so popular around here and she loved 'em, which is terrific since she's not much for fruit and this particular brand isn't full of preservatives.  She also fell in love with the little purse Oma got for Johanna a few months back.  So cute!  Lena scoured the house for every single ball -- biggest to smallest and believe me we have about fifty if you count them all -- and dutifully carried each one to an adult.  She would hand it over, look at you with a satisfying, "Uh," and go on a search for more.

The most hilarious thing was when Johanna and Lena decided to demolish the study, toy by toy, as evidenced here. This involved a great deal of shrieking. One would start, "Ahhh, ahhh, ahhh, ahhhhhhhh!" (must be said in the highest pitch you can manage), and the other would chime in. We were laughing so hard, we were almost crying.  Here's my favorite photo. The look like a couple of drunks.



God help the Triumphant Love teachers in the fall, as these two will be in class together, and they're quickly becoming a force to be reckoned with.  Heh.  There's grainy video (one short accidentally recorded by Ellen, one long intentionally recoded by me) of the dervishes in action, should you be so inclined.

I just finished writing a post about Shannon Leigh's death for Austinist, set to run tomorrow morning.  It was the most difficult thing I've ever written.  It's only a few paragraphs long, but it took several hours and plenty of tears.  She had a very clear online presence (official sites, videos, personal sites); it's abundantly clear how absolutely remarkable she was. 

Her life was abruptly cut short so brutally.  I don't understand, and it makes me angry.  That's where I am with this.  Pissed off.  At who?  I don't know.  No one.  Not God, really.  Just...angry.

I hope the post is okay.  It is not possible to write words that do any kind of justice to the inconceivably short life of this young woman.  I chose a line from a famous poem to accompany the post.  I have no clue whether Shannon would find it meaningful or totally ridiculous, but the poem touched me (something that doesn't happen all that often), and it was written by a poet who also died very young (age 19), so it seemed a good choice.  Here's the entire thing (High Flight, John Gillespie Magee, Jr).

Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of Earth

And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;

Sunward I’ve climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth

of sun-split clouds, — and done a hundred things

You have not dreamed of—wheeled and soared and swung

High in the sunlit silence. Hov’ring there,

I’ve chased the shouting wind along, and flung

My eager craft through footless halls of air....

Up, up the long, delirious, burning blue

I’ve topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace

Where never lark nor even eagle flew—

And, while with silent lifting mind I’ve trod

The high untrespassed sanctity of space,

Put out my hand, and touched the face of God.

Shannon Leigh died in her sleep this morning.  Utterly devastating.  Beyond that I am speechless.

The most recent entry from Shannon Leigh's mother is incredibly touching.  I am praying so hard for this girl.  I close my eyes and take a deep breath and dig so deep, so deep, and pray the only way I know.  I genuinely believe in this power to reach out, metaphysically, and bolster someone.  Even if you don't know them.  Sometimes not knowing makes it all the easier because you push through with a simple, clean message: you are loved, you are beautiful, please please please come back.

Her mother's writing is raw and honest, and as a mother of a beloved, cherished little girl, I can completely understand how for her the experience I am having now is like yesterday.  Pregnancy, birth, nursing, carrying and rocking for hours and hours...the connection formed during these blessed moments is there forever.  I cannot fathom the depths of her struggle to stay calm and centered and present for her child.  I'm not sure I could be so strong.

I bought one of these (click "Shannon Leigh") because the language expresses so perfectly how I so often feel.

God, please hold this woman and her beautiful daughter close...closer...closer.

I don't have time to look at this guy's site to learn about his story, but this video is SO WONDERFUL.


Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.

Thanks to Warren & Carla for sharing it with me!

Last week, I read about Shannon Leigh's diving accident on Big Poppa E's blog.  Being a diver, an erstwhile performer, a mother of a little girl, a fan of spoken word, the list goes on...I am so worried and scared for her.  Her mother is clearly an amazing individual. I include them nightly in my prayers, and I check the site multiple times each day hoping for good news. 

I also donated to help keep their medical bills down (they have insurance, but critical care is unbelievably costly), but that's not really what this post is about.  It's about the power of healing thoughts and prayers.  By putting this out to the universe, I hope the good energy gets all the greater.  Shannon, I don't even know you, but at the very depth of my heart and soul I am pulling for a glorious, miraculous recovery.

You know, when I started this blog I thought, "I'll always blog." I knew that blogging was something that would stay a part of me.

Oops.

I'm not saying I'm quitting, but it's funny how I don't make time to write any more. Not sure why. I'm busy? I was busy before. I'm disinterested? No...I still write entries in my head all the time. They never make it to paper.

Dunno. But here's a mini-update.



We've been making regular trips to Oma & Opa's. Here are two recent photos, with more on Flickr of course.





That is all for now!

Tell me, why does this song keep popping into my head?  I didn't even like it when it first came out, my freshman year in college.  I didn't dislike it.  I just found the entire Boy Band phenomenon to be quite silly, and I didn't listen to any of the music.

Yet...it haunts me.  Why?  Why??

Johanna hasn't had a fever for almost 72 hours!  Yay!  My happy, playful baby is back.  I can't even express how wonderful it is. No real time to tell the whole tale now, so here's a hastily edited copy-paste from email:
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On Friday we took her to a specialist -- a doc for pediatric infectious diseases.  We had bloodwork (using a needle and not just a toe-prick), urine culture (via a catheter to make sure it was a TOTALLY clean sample), and a throat culture.  I'm taking in a stool sample on today. 

This doc is basically thinking three possibilities: unresolved bladder/kidney issues, unresolved sinus issues, or a virus.  She's also looking for signs of infection/inflammation in the bloodwork.

The worst test was a CT scan on Friday afternoon -- attempted and failed.  They put Johanna on her stomach and expected her to be still while they ran the machine for a few minutes.  It did NOT work.  It's a "quick CT" which means there's no IV or contrast dye.  But Johanna couldn't do it.  She came completely unglued, screaming, crying, tears and snot running down her face.  *I* was not okay with it, either.  Johanna does NOT like to be handled by strangers, so having a beefy (sweet, but beefy) dude hold her down and press her head into a chin cradle just was not okay with her, on any level.
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We originally had a CT scan with sedation and two ultrasounds scheduled for this afternoon, but I postponed them to NEXT Monday.  I'll continue to track her temp, and if it stays normal all week, I'll cancel the tests altogether.  We'll see the specialist sometime this week.  And Johanna has her regular checkup (18 months!) with her pediatrician on Wednesday.

Hopefully this has all come to an uneventful end.  :)  Please keep her in your thoughts.